After being hurt and abandoned by the church I was raised in i moved to a friendly Baptist church and made some wonderful friends and learned some really interesting differences in the two belief systems. After moving away and being unable to find a non-denominational church home I settled on having a private personal relationship with God. I was never much into the Jesus part, mostly because of going to confession as a Catholic. It seemed silly to have a middle man. Much to my mothers dismay I refused to go to confession because if God was all knowing there was no need for me to tell a priest if I had been bad, God already knew! Same idea with the Jesus issue. Father, Son and Holy Ghost according to the way I was taught, were all one in the same. So why bother? Just go to the head honcho.
After years of praying when I cleaned house, when I walked the dogs, when I worked in the yard. Praying all the time, having my little chats with God. I was sitting in a doctors office and it occurred to me Bull crap!
It was an awakening to me that I had been "programmed" to believe all the God stuff and I believed it because that was what I was told to do. I never made a real informed decision about what I believed!
In that moment, I declared myself an atheist.
I felt so angry about having been hoodwinked into religion and really all religion ever did was take money and tell people what to do. I spent several years very bitter. I was not arrogant enough to think there was no power greater than myself. I acknowledge there are many powers in this world stronger than myself. Nature being the first to come to mind.
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